march 22 2012
wendyhouse
20.58
having supper,with my Darling..
he is here even if he isnt
how would you explain a life that has entwined with your fantasy?
its unwxplainable for most people to understand,
but it is exctly what happened with ours.
we make love when we are not together
as well when we are..
we have walks together,
eat together,
share things together
even when we are not..
it samazing how the past months have flown
now i am sat here,smiling and thinking how things have grown.
from curiosity,to meeting someone so unexpectedly
in a very unconventional way and falling inlove in the process
changing everything about me,,,
not just in a small way but in a lot more ways than i could have imagined.
a lot of people would say,it is wrong but,how wrong can it be to fall inlove this way?
a lot of scary times and alot of uncertainties but still we are here.
was chatting with my best friend and i asked a very straightforward question regarding
this situation and i was answered back in a straightforward manner than i thought i
would get...
i asked 'what do you think of girls tha sign up to this site?being looked after and having arrangements?'
bf: i cant judge as i dont know the situation and the people involved or their reasons..
me: what about people who come into it,lets say they are with other people and unexpectedly flaling inlove with each other while with other people,but are in these arrangements,falling inlove with the person they had arrangements with?in general while the peole are attached or married to others?
do you think they are bad for doing so?
bf: thats a very good question, as you know y father was in the same situation (i know this) but not really similar to another couple becasue it depends on their situation,but i will send you something to let you know my answer.
this is what my bestfriend sent to me,that made me cry in relief,in pain and in joy all the emotions that you could ever feel i felt straightaway as soon as i read it on my mobile and i knew she understood with out judgement...
'if you love two people at the same time,choose the second one,because if you really love the first one,you wont have fallen inlove with the second...
i never replied back,one reason is, i didnt want to discuss it further and another reason is,
i knew she understood already...
since she said this to me,i carried it around in my heart,it maybe wrong but the love i feel is right.
i know there is no justification of what is going on now,but i have learned more now than i have what it is really to love.
it has no race,no status,no age and no reason.
it comes when you dont think it will ever do,
and makes people who dont believe in it,see the world differently...
i was told too a long time ago,as i mentioned in my older blogs,that yu fall inlove only one
and will never come again when you lose it.
how scary to know this...
some of my Sugar friends have said to me how lucky i am to have what i have,inspite of..
they are right and i know that it has been too good to be true,but it is true.
it is not perfect but we try our best tomake each other happy in our own way.
and now,our life is attached to everything we do everyday...
there are some heartaches and hard times and maybe there will be more,but at the moment we
are silingthrough things as the day comes and in my self i know because of it it made me more
in love with him...
i have never understood people who are in arrangements like this before,i knew of one couple they have been together 15 years and it is a classic Sugar relationship althugh during the time it started there is no such sites yet thta promote it.
now when i hear about them,i smile becasue i now understood why...
waiting for my two Sugar good friends for a meet up,Englishrose,Dutch and new friend Blackcherry and the others who would try to make it i hope,lots of catching up and chatter!
for now,work in real life has been busy,
cant wait to see my Darling who for me is not an Sd but the love of my life
who has been so busy as well...
our lives that has everything else on top !
a lot of things that happens everyday
and still.
we are here.
even me sometimes think,how?why?
as Englisrose said to me once...
it is called Love x
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